It’s about time I wrote about this subject.
Without adequate and /or consistent efforts in this area all my efforts to recover would be over in spectacular fashion. What is it? Anything that is purely for YOU; anything that fills your cup, floats your boat, allows you to catch your breath, anything that feeds you in order to be a better version of you.
Why do it? It’s the most important and worthwhile thing you can do for yourself , the end. For me it took many months to find something i could fit into my everyday life, around work and kids. (especially with Covid restrictions too – still possible, not as easy that is all). I make sure everyday I have walked barefoot on sand and breathed in that sea air at the very least, but most days I will have a short walk and/or have a dip in the sea whatever the weather! It’s been built into my day so that my car is pre-packed with everything I need to change clothes/ warm up/cool down/even if its at lunchtime and I need to return to work. You might think agh that’s effort, and up until i started my daily practice I would have agreed with you. But now I can see , feel and know the difference self care makes in my life ; it’s in the mirror looking back at me, in my work and all I do, its effects are further felt in my friends and children – they comment on how much I “glow” and feel so at peace because i have dedicated time and energy to my daily practice.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
It could be just as simple as buying yourself a coffee and muffin at your favourite cafe, a daily workout at the gym, snuggling with your pooch, an extra nap in the day, massage or day spa, your favourite hobby for an hour, mediation, relaxation music, the list is endless, only you can answer what it is for you. I found self care was the difference in falling down or succeeding in my recovery, I can’t stress this enough. We so often run away from others and ourselves.
To be alone with who we are is far too confronting – why?
Why run knowing you are always waiting for yourself, what is the worse that can happen if you stood still and checked in for a change? I found it a little weird and foreign, but like all news habits it takes time to feel comfortable and eventually for me it’s become second nature. My therapist had once described this to me as “ looking inward for validation instead of others to acknowledge or relying on someone else to tell me I’m good, worthy, loveable .” It’s been a real revelation to arrive at this place of peace and contentment in myself.
No one can take it from me because I gave it to myself, I only need to practice self care and nurture myself in staying in this wondrous state daily, for me it’s still very much one day at a time. Funnily enough, you can probably recognise it in your abuser, they would take self care very seriously. I bet there’s not one day that passes where he does what he wants or needs on his own without a second thought of you or anyone else in his universe. And comes back with a look that probably makes you want to scream the house down.
So my challenge is to find this moment, minute, or hour that is purely for you. Even if it’s in a locked room, a caged home or chained heart it is possible to practice self care.
And I promise you it’s worth it.
We are here to help guide you YOU ARE NOT ALONE.